Anti-Nipple Federalists
Pro-Nipple factions destroyed an American Institution this weekend. Intelligence community reports more strikes to follow.
Though it has been roiling for decades now, the American Nipple War came into mainstream awareness with Super Bowl XXXVIII Halftime program wherein Janet Jackson made her political alliances perfectly clear by cohersing the innocent Justin Timberlake into ripping away a portion of her bodice to reveal a large, distended breast decorated with a huge, offensive nipple. The alleged jezebel even had the audacity to highlight her sinful and disgusting anatomy with what is known on the streets as a "nipple shield."
In the few short moments that the Jackson nipple was visible to the world, millions of children across the country were instantly struck blind or turned into perverts.
See Trey Givens for details.
