Monday, February 09, 2004
The Threat of Gay Terrorism
National Bad Hair Days
Imagine what would happen if every gay hairdresser in the country secretly selected certain days on which to give all of their straight clients the worst haircuts they’ve ever had in their lives.
That’s right! Millions of women would be coming home to their husbands and boyfriends in tears. They would be in a bad mood for weeks while waiting for the bad haircut to grow out. Millions of men would be forced to wear baseball caps 24/7 or, in the worst cases, shave their heads like Matt Lauer.
And, just when everyone begins to believe the worst is over, another Bad Hair Day will claim a new set of victims. Straight people will be forced to either take their chances with their regular stylists or wait months for an appointment with the few heterosexual hairdressers in town.
Of course, those clients who are openly gay-friendly will continue to receive great haircuts. Anti-gay politicians and church leaders will soon realize that for them every day is a Bad Hair Day. They will never get a decent haircut again.
- shadowfoot,
