Attention All Heterosexual Men!Author unknown.
Are you disillusioned by your lifestyle? Do you want more from life besides monster truck shows? Do Budweiser commercials confuse you? Are you tired of being a year behind in fashion? Do you wish you had a nice apartment like the ones you see on "Will & Grace"?
You are not alone! Act now, and you'll be on your way to living a fabulous, glamorous life as a homosexual! We are now recruiting heterosexual men ages 18-65 to become homosexuals. Let us assist you in your transformation from bland to beautiful! We'll give you all the steps you'll need to be a happy fairy, such as:
Act now and you'll receive a gold-plated closet door hinge to symbolize your freedom!
- Drag Queen make-up tips!
- How to have sex with a man without the six pack of beer!
- How to decorate with frills and throw pillows to brighten up any room!
- Essential Madonna and Cher records to own.
- That tongue trick invented circa 1978 in some alley in NYC.
- Ricky Martin's fan club address.
- Style and grooming tips no self respecting gay would be without (hope you're not too attached to that uni-brow).
- How to wear a G-string with poise and dignity (we'll insert a few bucks to get you started).
- Finger-snapping lessons, and a dialect coach to assist in "gaylingo".
- Learn important historical dates, like: the year Donna Summer won her first Grammy, Barbra's wedding anniversary, and the day Judy died!
Don't delay any longer! Do you want to have more women hanging off you than when you were straight? Aren't you tired of the snickers whenever you walk into a room?
Call 1-800-976-HOMO to begin your life as a fabulous fag!
Call today. Operators are standing by...
Friday, April 16, 2004
Knight of ShadowsThe argument against legalizing gay marriage
Quote of the day - Teaching children
Fuck it, I've taken a bullet
To deceive the eye
It's better than staying home and doing crime
Interpreting the Seven Deadly Sins
Quote of the day - Luck
You are your references
16 Ways to Be a Smarter Teacher