Troy in Fifteen Minutes
I saw Troy with David last Thursday. Here's Troy in Fifteen Minutes. It's well worth reading if you've seen the film
BRISEIS:Dear George Lucas:
I just got the hug-and-kiss treatment from Eric Bana AND Orlando Bloom in the space of a minute. Thanks again for discovering me; you may come pick up my firstborn child at your earliest convenience.
Love,
Rose
Later
BRISEIS:Dear George Lucas:
I love you. My secondborn child is on the way.
SQUEEE!!,
Rose
Later
Palace Backyard, Troy
Paris is practicing archery on a nice straw man nailed up to the wall. He hits bull's-eye after bull's-eye.
HELEN: Wow, I had no idea you were so good at this.
PARIS: Neither did I. Weird, isn't it? And I really want lembas now.
HELEN: What?
Later
Secret Basement of Troy
HECTOR: Honey, things are gonna get real bad. I want you to take the baby and as many of our people down here, through this secret tunnel, and down the river to this secluded mountain where you can hide for a few thousand years while Achilles cools off. Because, trust me, it's gonna take that long.
ANDROMACHE [weeping]: Why are you telling me this?
HECTOR: Are you even listening to me? I killed Achilles'-cousin. Cousin. Totally his cousin. In conclusion: Cousin and he is GOING TO KILL ME.
ANDROMACHE: *cries*
HECTOR: Tell me about it.
OUR LADY OF SOUNDTRACK SORROW: WAAAAAHAHHHHHOHHHHH!
