Shadow Footprints

Some people have a gardener do their garden while they're at work. Not so with the Naked Gardner. I saw an advert for it in the local freebie paper, along with an advertising feature.

Ladies, it's your lucky day! Is your garden overrun? Have your flowerbeds and trees seen better days? We've got the perfect thing for you! The Naked Gardener is at your service! Yes, that's right, these buff young men get around in nothing but very small hotpants, mowing your lawns and trimming your hedges for you.
The Naked
Gardner is a new business venture started just a week ago.

Sounds good so far. Unfortunately no website with cost details. Nice pictures in the paper though, but again there's no links. I've emailed the guy in charge to get some more details.

While searching the web for the Naked Gardner I found few links, but this one looked interesting.

The Naked Gardener cards have gone off with out a hitch ! yehaa! Black ink can and was a pain in the arse but we got there in the end. A big big cheers to the lads over at Pulp digital Steve you are a colour magician!

Investigating his blog further, i.e. reading every entry, I learnt that he's into graphic design, and he makes no other mention of the Naked Gardner. The blog entries are tantalising in their briefness, yet have many interesting links, some of which follow.

I'll file the lockpicking site away for later, in case I lock myself out of the house again, like I did last week.

The cheap portable espresso machine at engadget is not quite suitable for my needs.

I can see many uses for the practical application of prayers in IT.

Manager's log:
Computer does not work, I've called our sysadmin. Admin comes, raises his hands to the sky, chants something unintelligible, turns my chair clockwise 10 times, kicks the computer and it starts to work. Admin raises his hands to the sky, chants something again and leaves.

Admin's log:
Coming to the user, the guy tangled the power cord around his chair. Quietly whisper to myself what I think about him, untangle the cord, kick the computer behind the desk so that it will not happen again, turn it on, leave.

A commenter gave us the prayer.

Hail thee, my Lord,
fix this damn guy's power cord;
let wisdom and phantasy come to his mind,
make him fix such shit on his tod;
protect my switches and hubs,
and also my big coffee cups;
let always flow the caffeine,
to help me get over this pain.

Apartment Therapy has some interesting tips on The Little Things That Make a Difference, some of which are here

• When you wake in the morning, make your bed.
• Use your kitchen in the morning, even if it only to have a glass of orange juice.
• Always go out of your way to say good morning to your neighbours on the street.
• Before you leave the office, take five minutes to clean up your desk.
• On Fridays, take 15 minutes and clear your desk, throwing out or filing all post-its, cards, or papers that are old.
• Buy flowers for your apartment at least once a week on your way home from work.
• Take off your street shoes when you come home. Use house shoes inside your home.
• Hang your coat up right away when you come home.
• Use the time just after you get home to run any local errands, such as dry cleaning, pharmacy, or laundry.
• Use a cordless headset to make calls while you cook or straighten up your house.
• Don't let your refrigerator fill up with old food. Clean it out at least once a week.
• Always eat on a real plate with a real napkin.
• Light a candle when you eat, even if you are alone. A Girl named Ivan would like this.
• Put all clothes away or in the laundry before going to bed each night.
• Only have one book at your bedside at a time. Finish the books you start.
• Look forward to the morning, because you are ready for it.

I must do some of there, and more. There's also some photos of bedroom retreats. I don't see my bedroom as a retreat. I don't go there just to relax, but that may be because I don't know how to relax.

Translucence (Transmitting light but causing sufficient diffusion to prevent perception of distinct images) tells of things he's learned after being inspired by an Esquire article.

• Telling the truth in business intimidates everybody else in the room. The truth has unbelievable power.
• Being a grown up sucks, but at least there's booze.
• Forget to laugh and you forget to live.
• Dress appropriately for the occasion, flip-flops at the office won't get you the CEO job and a business suit and Brooks Brothers tie won't get you laid out at the bar.
• Flirt with everyone. You never know what might happen, from free hotel upgrades to someone that's out of your league, flirting is an art to be studied. I don't flirt enough
• Most people are insincere. Knowing that means your two steps ahead of everybody else.
• Hire smart people and let them do their jobs. That way you can leave the office early on Fridays.
• Buy expensive shoes, they last longer and people can tell if you're wearing something cheap. If you don't care enough to treat your feet right, how are you going to treat me?
• If you are really talented, you can lie to everybody but yourself. Sooner or later, the truth will always win.

A cool mp3 player was my next find. With 256MB it can hold more than three and a half hours of 160 kilobit per second. With a MMC slot it can hold a lot more. Just the thing for long journeys in someone else's car.

The next item is something a bit heavier than a cock ring, or maybe I don't pull gently enough. Looks better than a tacky box with flower or dolphins on it.

I didn't think coffee in NZ was exceptional, but then I haven't been to Wellington recently. I know there's an art to it, but when I've been making coffee in a macchinetta I don't think about the presentation on the foam.

And this ends my foray into Naked Gardening.