School days

I know US schools are portrayed in a bad light in the media, a lot worse than NZ schools, but I didn’t expect it to be this extreme. I’m glad I didn’t go to Friendswood.

I was very introverted at school. I didn’t fit in with the other nerds, knowing I was looking for something different. I wasn’t geeky enough to be with the geeks. I wasn’t cool enough to be with the cool kids. As a “B” student, I wasn’t one of the smart ones, but I didn’t have to study to get there; if I’d known how to apply myself, I see that more “A”s could have come my way. Instead, I read lots.

I was a bookworm from a young age. My mother once said that one of the smartest things she did for me was get a library membership. I was always asking “why, ” which meant I could find the answers. Perhaps that explains why I analyse things too much, especially movies.

My reading consisted primarily of science fiction. Fantasy came later when I was at varsity in Christchurch (I loved Scorpio Books.) I also read some of my older brother’s books. I didn’t touch his westerns but he had some Adults Only books. Thinking back, the few I read were pretty trashy. I also read his copies of Penthouse magazine. (It turns out I really was reading the articles! It’s a pity the advice column added to my confusion.) When our mother found one hidden, she told him that he wasn’t to hide them, he was allowed to read them, but he wasn’t to leave them lying around the house.

I think my reading of science fiction and fantasy was some sort of escape. I’d always “danced to a different tune”. It was not until I got to university that I started really making friends.

At a school reunion a few years ago, I was told that some of the other kids had made a bet that I was gay. I wish I’d known then. It’s a pity it took 20 years for their bet to pay off. I know of only one other kid from school who’s gay; she was one of the cool kids yet was willing to include me in things. I run into her from time to time here in Auckland. I can think of a couple of guys from my final year who are probably gay; one will still be dealing with issues of religion; the other, I have no idea what he could be doing now.

I am so different from the kid I was at school. I am much more of social now, and I am much happier being me within this skin.